A Tribute to the 1st Man I Loved

Man, this is hard to write. But, I cannot go on with blogging about everyday occurrences without acknowledging the passing of my sweet Daddy. The last couple of months and especially the last few weeks have been extremely hard, and I want to remember the many, many good memories that I have of my Daddy.

On February 3, 2015, my Daddy took his last breath after a relatively short battle with melanoma.  He was diagnosed in late spring 2013, and they found a few tiny spots on his brain. No point of origin was ever found, and it was already stage 4 when they found it because of the brain metastases. He went through treatment, had a scary car accident because of the tumors bleeding, and then had more significant treatment in the fall/winter of 2013. From January-October 2014, he was in remission. He had no new growth, and the tumors continued to shrink with each scan. The tumors started growing back like wildfire after that, and we are thankful he is now cancer-free in heaven even though we miss him like crazy here on earth. Holly and I spent his last nine days with him in McKenzie when he was on hospice care.  Those were HARD days, but I would not have been anywhere else.

But, the cancer was only a very small part of his story. My Daddy, Coburn Barcroft, grew up with three sisters and one brother, and his father was in the Air Force which meant they moved around a lot. They lived in many places, including Bermuda, the Northeast, and various parts of the South. His parents' home was always Frog Jump, TN in Crockett County where they owned a store in later years.  He was born at Moody Air Force Base in Valdosta, Georgia on January 27, 1956. He was the middle child- his older sisters are Jane and Betsy, and younger sister is Kate, and younger brother is Tim. They grew up in the Church of Christ, and my Dad has a beautiful singing voice. He even led singing growing up in church. He was baptized with his younger sister Kate (younger by only 11 months) when he was 12 years old at Brownsville Church of Christ.

Years later, he met my Mom Janet while they were attending UT Martin. They married in August 1979 and moved to Quincy, Florida. I was born in November 1981 and Holly in May 1983. Shortly after Holly was born, my Mom and Dad moved back to Bruceton, TN where my mom grew up. I'm sure they needed help raising us only 18 months apart, and my Grandparents also lived in Bruceton.

Daddy said he always knew he would have girls. And, he was the best Daddy to Holly and me. He ironed our clothes, fixed our hair for dance class if Mama was at work, was never afraid to talk to us about any subject, and was always there when we needed him. My Daddy rarely ever missed a beauty pageant or a talent show, and he thought was an expert on predicting winners!

Holly and I are blessed with two great parents who always supported us in our many endeavors. We played sports year around (softball and basketball), and we were football cheerleaders. Many hours were spent by our parents on the bleachers at those games, and none of our teams with the exception of football were very good. We have always felt loved and supported by our Mom and Dad, and that continued even after they divorced when I was a freshman in high school. Holly and I stayed very close to both of our parents, and we are thankful they were always friendly to each other. We had graduation parties, weddings, our childrens' birthday, and many more big events where we were fortunate to have both parents there getting along. I am so thankful they never put pressure on us to choose who we want to invite or be with for these big events in our lives. They are both truly the best parents for Holly and me.

Betsy, Daddy, me, Mama, & Holly at my wedding in June 2006

My Daddy married my sweet stepmother Betsy and moved to McKenzie when I was a junior in high school, and she had such an impact on my life. Betsy was honestly one of the sweetest people you would ever meet, and she sure loved my Daddy. With Betsy we gained two stepbrothers, Matt and Mark. Matt was a student at UT Martin when we met him, and Mark was exactly my age. Mark and I celebrated our 16th birthdays (which fall one week apart) the first time we met our sophomore years of high school. Betsy loved Jesus and was a devout member of the Methodist church. She was diagnosed with cancer in summer 2009 and went to heaven in early January 2010 after only 11 years of marriage to my Dad. I got to tell her I was expecting a baby (Logan) that Thanksgiving 2009, and she was so excited. My Dad, on the other hand, did not know what to think about his baby having a baby (at the age of 28!). I often think how Betsy would have loved my boys, Holly's boys, and Mark's four children. She got to meet Brylee (Mark's oldest) and was a great "BB" to her.

Daddy married Sandra in October 2010, and I have no doubt that it was truly part of God's plan. Sandra was Betsy's best friend, and it just seemed like God made a path for them to be together. Daddy and Sandra had lots of fun visiting St. George Island and visiting grandchildren. Sandra took amazing care of Daddy through his battle with cancer, and I will forever love and cherish her. With Sandra, Daddy also gained 4 granddaughters. Together, they have 8 grandchildren, and they loved to talk about them.

Trip with Daddy & Sandra to St. George in October 2013

My Daddy was funny, talked very loudly, never sat still, and loved to read. He told everyone that Holly and I were perfect growing up, and I'm not sure that hindsight is 20/20 in this case! But, he sure was proud of us, and we rarely did get in any trouble growing up.  He loved our husbands and treated them like family from the beginning. He also loved working in the Cast House at Norandal for 25 years and was so sad when he had to stop working in fall 2013. He took pride in his work and the people he worked with. So many of his co-workers came by his house that last week and came to the Memorial Service. Many described him as a brother, and I have never seen so many men tear up. They also talked about how Daddy got them to start reading books, and now they are hooked. His longtime work buddy, Junior Davis, told me how Daddy would always pick up extra shifts when we were in college. He sent us money every week in college, and I hope he knew how much we appreciated it. He was so proud that he helped us get our college degrees.

UT Graduate Hooding Ceremony 2006

I am so glad that my boys got to meet my Daddy, but it breaks my heart that likely only Logan will remember him and those memories will be limited because of his age. My heart still aches for him all the time, and I know that in many ways it always will. I just want to call him and get his advice and hear his voice. It does not seem fair that I had to lose him when he was only 59 and seemed to have so much life left to live. I know that I will see him again in heaven because of the promises of Jesus, and I am so very thankful for all of the wonderful times we shared together when he was on earth.

Rest in peace, Daddy. I love you very much, and I'll see you again someday.